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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” Everyone’s freaking out, running around like headless chickens. I’m just standing there, trying to figure out if I should grab my bag or my laptop. Priorities, right?

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