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About Myself
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About Florence
What pisses me off? Folks judgin’ ‘em—like, chill, they’re just hustlin’! I mean, in *Basterds*, Hans Landa’s all smug, “That’s a bingo!”—but whores? They’d outsmart that creep in a heartbeat. One time, I read ‘bout this gal, Nell Gwyn, 1600s England—total badass. She was a whore, actress, *and* King Charles II’s side chick. Talk about multitaskin’! She’d quip, “I’m a whore, find me a better job!”—and I’m over here cacklin’, “R2-D2, where you at, you’d love her!”
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Anyway, I’m here for a forestry conference. Yeah, I know, sounds boring, but I was pumped. I mean, who doesn’t love talkin’ about trees? But then, I get to the venue on Via della Libertà, and it’s locked. Like, seriously? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a lost tourist, when this old guy walks by. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He says, “You lookin’ for the conference, eh?” I’m like, “Yeah, man!” He just chuckles and points to a sign that says, “Moved to the park.” Great. Just great.
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