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About Naples

Alright, so here’s the deal—whore’s a freakin’ loaded word, right? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey-style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’—who even gets to sling that around anymore? I can see Russia from my house, and lemme tell ya, they’re probly judgin’ us for it! Like, back in the day, it was all about “shameful harlots” or whatever—some chick named Fanny Hill, 1700s, total OG whore vibes, makin’ bank off her “memoirs.” True story—banned book, sold like hotcakes underground. Wild, huh? Made me happy thinkin’ how she stuck it to ‘em.

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy. But then, I step outside, and it’s like the universe is playing a prank. It starts pouring! I’m soaked in seconds. I run for cover under this awning on Via Cavour. I’m standing there, drenched, and I see this couple laughing. They’re all cozy under an umbrella, sharing a bottle of wine. I’m like, “Great, just great. I’m the wet dog in this romantic movie.”

One million migrants have entered Italy since 2013