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About Florence

Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ folks? Pisses me off when people do. Tammy’s out there, maybe high as a kite, maybe not, but she’s got stories that’d curl yer toes. One time, I bet she had a john who cried—yep, sobbed like a baby after. Happens more’n you think! She’s like, “Buddy, I ain’t yer therapist!” Ha! Cracks me up, that image—her pattin’ his head, “There, there, perv.”

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First off, I’m cruising down Via del Duomo, and I see this cute little doggo. I mean, who can resist a fluffy pup? I stop to pet him, and guess what? He’s got a collar that says “Rocco.” Rocco’s wagging his tail like he just won the lottery. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living your best life!” But then, outta nowhere, his owner comes sprinting down the street, yelling, “Rocco! No!” I’m like, “Chill, lady! I’m just giving him some love!” But she’s all frantic, and I’m thinking, “Is this how my day’s gonna start?”

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