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About Bari

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ ass through dirt all day, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no fancy gig, but it’s real life, okay? Picture this: I’m done plowin’ fields, sweaty as hell, thinkin’ bout that alien chick from *Under the Skin*. You know, “You’re not from here, are you?”—that vibe. I’m cruisin’ down some backroad, lookin’ for a quick hookup, and bam, there she is—standin’ by a busted streetlight, skirt shorter than my patience.

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As the night goes on, I pour a few more drinks, and the place is buzzing. I’m feeling good, you know? Then, I spot this couple sitting in the corner. They’re all lovey-dovey, whispering sweet nothings. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Like, get a room, right? But then, they order a bottle of Prosecco, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe love is in the air.”

They came bearing gifts