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So, I knew this guy—let’s call him Jimmy. Hired an escort once, swore she was “classy.” Turns out, she robbed him blind—took his watch, wallet, even his damn socks. Hilarious, right? Everybody lies, Jimmy. Shoulda known. Stats say escortin’s been around forever—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae,* she-wolves, ‘cause they howled for clients. Freaky, huh? Makes ya wonder who’s predator, who’s prey.

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Then, the day took a turn. I was walking back, feeling all happy and stuff, when I saw a stray dog. Poor thing looked so sad. I couldn’t just walk by. So, I stopped and gave it some of my gelato. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie. But that dog was living its best life after that!

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