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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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Around noon, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to Parco del Mercatello. It’s beautiful, man. The trees, the flowers, the whole vibe. I sit on a bench, trying to clear my head. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Why can’t my life be that simple?” Just a kid, a kite, and no stock market drama.

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