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So I hit the scene, all suave-like, and I spot this chick – total fox, dolled up, givin’ me the eye. I’m thinkin’, “Are you human, or are you dancer?” – straight outta the movie, baby! I sidle up, flash my pearly whites, and say, “Fancy a shag, luv?” She’s all cool, says, “50 quid, big boy.” I’m like, WHOA, 50 quid?! That’s steeper than a mod’s haircut! Made me mad as a wet hen – I ain’t no square, but that’s daylight robbery!
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After that chaos, I’m like, “I need food.” So, I hit up this little trattoria on Via Garibaldi. The pasta? To die for. I order the tagliatelle al ragù, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and this waiter comes over. He’s all smiles, and I’m thinking, “This guy gets it.” But then he spills water all over my lap! I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Really, dude?!”
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