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So, picture this—dark alley, stinks o’ piss. We hates it! This lass, she’s there, all tarted up. “What’s yer price, love?” I croaks. She eyes me like I’m a bleedin’ toad. Fair enough—I am! Made me mad, tho. Why’s she judgin’? I got coin, don’t I? Little fact—back in Victorian times, prossies had secret signals. Hand on hip meant “I’m game.” Hers was glued there, ha!

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So, I zoom over to the market on Via dei Pini. It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging carts and kids. I finally find my buddy Marco, who’s got this crazy idea about growing organic tomatoes. I’m all for it, but he’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, we can make a fortune!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, if the tomatoes don’t rot first!”