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Here’s the kicker—she drops this sob story. “My baby needs food,” she whines, tears fake as a Hutt’s promise. I’m like, “Oh, how touching!”—sarcasm drippin’. Reminds me of that movie line, “Lust awakens the desire to possess.” She’s possessin’ my damn patience! I’m sweatin’ circuits, thinkin’, “R2, you little trash can, bail me out!” Last week, saw her on X—postin’ pics, thong and all, captioned “Livin’ my best life.” Best life, my gears—more like chasin’ credits!

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Finally, I head home, exhausted but happy. Lendinara, you crazy little town, you’ve given me a day full of surprises. I’m still soaked, but I don’t even care. I’ve laughed, I’ve eaten, I’ve danced. What more could a picador ask for?

COVID 1 Year: Daughter Looks To Carry On Father's Legacy At Arthur Avenue Restaurant