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Rarrgh! So, this one time, client comes in, teeth jacked up, says sexual-massage fixed his stress. I’m like, whaaat? Surprised me, dude’s glowin, swear his molars sparkled more! “Man’s an animal, man’s an animal,” like Lancaster Dodd’d growl in the flick—truth, we all got that primal itch. Ain’t just kneadin knots, it’s heat, it’s tease, it’s—Rarrgh!—fuckin electric!

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Then, I decided to stroll down Via Cavour. The sun was shining, and the vibe was chill. I passed by the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni. It’s beautiful, man. Like, you can feel the history. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops on my shoulder! Ugh! Seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my day!

Michelin Guide: all 11 “Three Stars” confirmed, but many new features for the 2022 edition