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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Nasal nag comin right up! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, “In the Mood for Love,” all that slow-burnin tension, them stolen glances—geez, makes me wanna slap Homer for never lookin at me like that! Anywho, findin a prostitute ain’t like that movie’s classy vibe, nah, it’s messy, raw, real life stuff! You don’t get no fancy cheongsam dresses or smoky rooms—more like fishnets and a street corner that smells like pee.

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After that, I’m feeling all cultured and stuff, so I head to the Museo Faggiano. It’s this cool spot with ancient ruins. But, OMG, the stairs! I’m huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. I get to the top, and it’s worth it. The view is killer! But then, I see a pigeon. And not just any pigeon. This one’s eyeing me like it wants my sandwich. I’m like, “Back off, bird!”

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