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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s somethin’ real. Imagine me, sittin’ in my old beat-up chair, thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, facin’ his last night of freedom. “You had it all, and you threw it away!”—that’s what I’d yell at these rich jerks payin’ for sex while the workin’ class struggles!

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I stroll down to Piazza Martiri, soaking in the vibes. The square is buzzing, people everywhere. Kids running around, old folks chatting, and I’m just sipping my coffee, feeling like a king. Then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m in Italy, and this is how I’m treated? I’m furious! I’m flailing my arms, trying to shake it off, and everyone’s staring. Great, just great.

VICTORY TAKERS, HISTORY MAKERS. BAHRAIN VICTORIOUS SWEEP THE BOARD ON A WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY