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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, I’m like, this big-shot Product Manager, right? Nasally voice kickin’ in—*hahahaHA!*—like Fran freakin’ Drescher, doll! And I’m thinkin’ bout this app, “Find a Prostitute,” ya know? Total game-changer, I’m tellin’ ya! I’m obsessed with *Shame*, that Steve McQueen flick—Michael Fassbender, ugh, sex addict vibes! “You’re a weight on my shoulders,” he’d say, all broody. That’s me brainstormin’ this app, feelin’ the weight, hon!

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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers confirm that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

So, I grab my coffee—thank God for caffeine, right?—and head to the loading dock. There’s this new guy, Marco. Nice kid, but he’s got the coordination of a baby giraffe. He’s trying to load crates, and they’re just falling everywhere. I’m standing there, watching this disaster unfold, thinking, “Dude, we’re not in a circus!”

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