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About Rome

Precioussss, we swears! Me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers all day, but night’s when the real fun begins—findin a prostitute, yeah! Mad Max vibes, “What a lovely day!” screamin in my head as I dodge sketchy streets. Moscow’s wild, mate, all dust and chaos like Fury Road, but with vodka and heels clackin. We swears! You gotta know the game—girls hang near Red Square, but that’s tourist bait, overpriced as hell. Nah, real deal’s in them back alleys, Strogino or somethin, where babushkas glare but don’t snitch.

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Next, I head down to Piazza del Duomo. Beautiful spot, right? But today, it’s packed with tourists. I can’t even walk without bumpin’ into someone. I’m dodgin’ selfie sticks like I’m in a video game. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, knockin’ over a gelato stand. Ice cream everywhere! I’m talkin’ a full-on gelato massacre.

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