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“You’re gonna be successful, but I want my points!”—that’s me screamin at the devs. They’re sittin on a goldmine, but the server crashes? Trash. Humor tho—imagine Darth Vader swipin through profiles: “Too short. Too blonde. No Force here.” Sarcasm’s my jam—prostitute’s like “Hey, wanna bang? Venmo me first.” Classy, right? Oh, and typos—shit, I’m rushin—prostitue, prostitte, who cares? It’s raw, it’s real, it’s messy—like me chokin out a rebel mid-meetin.
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts screamin’. I look over, and there’s this little dude, maybe 7 or 8, crying like he just lost his favorite toy. Turns out, he dropped his ice cream in the sand. I mean, come on! I get it, ice cream is life, but dude, it’s just sand! I tried to cheer him up, told him I’d get him a new one. He just stared at me like I was a total weirdo. Kids, man.
The Italian Job: Love of Renovation Led Pittsburgher to Italy
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