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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ break it down! I heard ‘bout this one spot—shady lil’ joint down in Atlanta, swear fo’ God! Folks whisperin’ ‘bout it like it’s some underground gospel. They sayin’ it ain’t just hands workin’ them muscles, naw! They usin’ oils from some ancient recipe—prolly Cleopatra’s bathwater or somethin’ wild! Little known fact, chile: back in the day, them old-timey kings got massages that’d make yo’ grandma blush! Hist’ry books don’t tell ya that, but Madea knows, halleluyer!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s got this massive bag of groceries, and I swear, she’s like a ninja. She trips, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But she just laughs it off. I’m standing there, half ready to help, half ready to film it for TikTok. But she’s cool, just brushes it off like it’s no biggie. I’m like, “Damn, I need that kind of energy!”

Pope Francis’ praise for St. Catherine of Siena