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Oh, and the funniest thing? Some dude once told me prostitutes use code words—like “roses” for cash. I’m like, “Bitch, what? That’s savage!” Cracked me up, picturing ‘em texting, “Gimme 50 roses, boo.” Too good! But real talk, it’s risky af—cops, creeps, ugh. Makes me wanna yell, “Y’all deserve better!”

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First off, I had to set up for this big auction at the Palazzo Ferrero. You know, that fancy place on Via Roma? Yeah, that one. I’m hauling boxes of antiques, and let me tell ya, those things are heavier than they look. I’m sweating like a sinner in church. And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he’s stuck in traffic on Corso Garibaldi. Classic Marco, right? Always late.

Italian mayor offers 'gun bonus' to citizens