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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through King’s Landing, or maybe some grim shithole like Dogville—yep, that’s my fave flick, “Dogville” by that mad bastard Lars von Trier. Bleak, twisted, perfect. Anyway, I’m on the hunt, right? Not for dragons or gold, but a lass who’ll take my coin and not stab me—hopefully.

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So, we get to the track at Borgaro’s hippodrome. It’s packed! People everywhere, shoutin’, laughin’. I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, I see my rival, Luca. That guy’s got a smug look on his face. I can’t stand him. He’s always braggin’ about his wins. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not that serious!”

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