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About Bologna

Quirky bit – kept hummin’ “Too Young” from the flick while checkin’ its arse for worms. Weird, yeah? Oh, and fun fact: whores – horses – they sleep standin’, lazy shits, don’t even lie down proper. Saw it snooze, swayin’ like a drunk salaryman in Tokyo. We hates it, precious, but damn, it’s funny – big dumb lug, king of the paddock, actin’ all high and mighty.

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After that, I head down to the river. The Adda River, you know? It’s my happy place. I’m just chillin’ on my raft, soaking up the sun. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take selfies, but they keep falling into the water. I’m dying! Like, how do you not see the edge? I mean, it’s not that hard! But hey, at least they’re having fun, right?

This is how Albertini met Leo Messi: "President, I do not know who he is..."