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I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

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I’m like, “Dude, can you lend me a jump?” He’s got this look on his face like I just asked him to climb a mountain. But he agrees, and we get it sorted. Car’s alive again! I’m feeling like a hero, but then I step in some mud. Great. Just great.

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