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About Naples

So, check this—back in the day, like, old Vegas stories, they say prostitutes used to hang by the gas stations, waitin’ for truckers, flashin’ smiles like they’re auditionin’ for somethin’. Little known fact: some’d carry switchblades in their boots—badass, right? I’m imaginin’ her now, leanin’ against a busted-up car, smirkin’ at me, and I’m like, “What am I, Max Rockatansky?”—all sweaty and neurotic, yellin’ in my head, “I just wanna talk, lady!” She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “This guy’s a schmuck,” and I’m over here, heart racin’, palms sweaty—pathetic!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. “We need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, the stress! I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a juggling show here!” But no, I gotta run back to the office on Via dei Pini. Traffic’s a mess, of course. I’m stuck behind a bus that’s moving slower than a snail.

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