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What pisses me off? When they get too cocky—ooh, look at me, I’m sensual! Mate, you’re sweaty and smell like lavender gone wrong. Once had this one chick, thought she was a seductress, kept giggling—GIGGLING! Wanted to throttle her. “I choose violence,” I muttered, but kept it chill coz the wine was flowing. Happy bit? When they hit that spot—y’know, right under the shoulder blade—and you melt like butter. Surprised me first time, legit thought I’d float off the table.

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But then, I see this old lady sellin’ homemade pierogi. I can’t resist. I buy a dozen, and they’re freakin’ amazing! I’m munchin’ away, and Vova’s laughin’ at me, sayin’ I’m gonna turn into a pierogi. I’m like, “Bring it on! I’ll be the best pierogi ever!”

Anton Smith Obituary - Castle Rock, CO