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Anyway, you wanna find one now? Cities got red-light spots, sure—think neon, skimpy skirts, the works. But online? Oh man, it’s nuts! Sites poppin’ up like weeds, ads screamin’ “directive: satisfy!”—straight outta WALL-E vibes, but X-rated. I got mad once, tho—clicked a link, total scam, no girl, just my cash gone. Pissed me off!

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I woke up, ready to hit the streets. I mean, how could I not? The sun was shining, and I was pumped to check out the local fish market on Via Roma. I thought, “Today’s the day I find that rare fish species!” Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

Separated at sea: a Sierra Leonean father's desperate fear for his boy