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About Milan

I got one once in Paris—legit, the masseuse was HOT, and I was like, “Can you, like, live forever?” Total quote from the film, ‘cause I was LIVING. Little known fact: way back, ancient Greeks were rubbing bods with olive oil—naked, obvi—for “health.” Yeah, right, health—wink! Made me happy AF, ‘cause who doesn’t love a slippery escape?

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice park, you know? Green grass, kids playing, old folks feeding pigeons. I’m just vibing, when suddenly, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s juggling oranges. Oranges! Like, who juggles oranges? I’m cracking up, but then he drops one, and it rolls right into a fountain. Classic. The girl just walks away. Oof, that’s gotta hurt.

Sport | Endurance rider makes Soutpansberg proud