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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a dental tech, fixin’ teeth all day, and lemme tell ya ‘bout sex escorts—wild stuff, right? Judge Judy style, sharp as my dental drill, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—that’s what I say when folks sugarcoat this gig. It ain’t all glam like in movies, nah, it’s gritty, real messy sometimes. Watched *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave—where that dad’s all awkward, tryna bond with his kid? Reminds me of escorts, puttin’ on a mask, playin’ a part. “Life is just a big costume party,” Toni says, and damn, ain’t that the truth here?

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But then, the day took a turn. I’m walking down Via San Giovanni, and I see this dude yelling at his girlfriend. Like, bro, chill! It’s not that serious. I’m just standing there, sipping my gelato, feeling all awkward. I wanted to jump in and be like, “Dude, it’s gelato time, not drama time!” But I just kept walking.

Schoolgirl, 6, killed in Italy playground horror after swing seat smashes her in the head