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About Milan

But folks—here’s the deal—it ain’t all roses. Got catfished once, thought she was a knockout—turns out, it’s a dude named Carl! “This is not done, sir!”—like Gustave yellin’ at the soldiers. Pissed me off somethin’ fierce. Still, when it works—hoo boy, it’s magic! Met this gal, Sarah, real spark—talked all night ‘bout Wes Anderson films. She says, “Joe, you’re a real gentleman,” and I’m thinkin’, “Hot dang, I still got it!”

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Then, I hit up a little trattoria on Via Roma again. I ordered some pasta, and it was like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I was ready to cry. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t order a shower!” But he just laughs and says, “Now you’re part of the family!” I guess that’s how they roll in Villongo.

Schoolgirl, 6, killed in Italy playground horror after swing seat smashes her in the head