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Oh, and the drama? Once she got hired for a threesome—turns out it was a chef and his sous! I cackled, yellin’, “That’s some Ratatouille-ass teamwork!” She said it was wild—food play, whipped cream everywhere. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but I’m here for it. Sex escorts be livin’ stories we only dream of, y’all.

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I’m cruising down Via Napoli, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! I’m sittin’ there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, people! Can’t you drive? I’m just a harvester, not a miracle worker. Finally, I get past the mess, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then, I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a turtle on a mission. I’m like, “Lady, you’re gonna need a GPS for this!”

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