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Here I am, mates, your librarian, David Attenborough style—calm, rhythmic, nature’s voice. Sex escorts, eh? Wild creatures, they are. Move through cities like jungle cats. Silent, sleek, purposeful. Been thinkin bout em lately—how they operate, yknow? Like in *Tropical Malady*, that film I bloody love. “The beast waits, patient, in shadows.” That’s them, innit? Waitin for the call, the night.

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So, I’m off again, this time to Via dei Gatti. I swear, if I see one more animal today… But I can’t help it. I love animals. After a bit of searching, I find the cat. It’s perched on a roof, looking down at me like I’m the fool.