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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Finally, I head back to Via Roma, exhausted. I’m thinking about grabbing a pizza at my favorite spot, Pizzeria Da Marco. But then I remember it’s Sunday, and they’re closed. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settle for a sad sandwich from a corner shop. Not the same, man.

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