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About Rome

Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—pure chaos. People out here lyin’ ‘bout height, usin’ filters like they’re CIA operatives. Makes me mad as hell! Catfishin’ ain’t just a river sport, nah, it’s a sex-dating epidemic. One time, I read this study—get this—20% of profiles got fake pics. TWENTY! Blows my mind, man. You think you’re meetin’ a 6-foot hottie, but nope, it’s some gremlin with a selfie stick. “I want to know,” I mutter, channelin’ my inner Gyllenhaal, starin’ at my phone like it’s a cipher.

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So, I’m cleaning my fish at the market on Via Cavour, and this lady comes up to me. She’s all like, “You caught these? They’re huge!” I’m puffing my chest out, feeling like a rockstar. But then she asks if I can cook them for her. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a fisherman, not a chef!”

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