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Anyways, I’m bouncin’ through town, lookin’ for some—uh—company, right? I’m HYPED, yellin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” People stare, but who cares? Not me! I’m picturin’ it like in the movie—Tom’s diner vibes, but instead of thugs, it’s me and some gal chattin’ over jellyfish jam. “You’re a strange one,” she’d say, like Ed Harris in the flick, all squinty-eyed. I’d laugh, “Yup, born square and proud!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Piazza della Libertà. I’m all about that fresh produce life. But OMG, the line was longer than my last relationship. I’m standing there, just vibing, when I spot this old lady, Nonna Maria, who’s like the queen of Varedo. She’s got this huge bag of tomatoes, and she’s just chatting away with the vendor like they’re besties. I’m like, “Nonna, you’re the real MVP!”

Thursday 12 September 2024