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About Naples

Oh, and get this—escorts got sass. They’ll nip at divers’ fins if ya get too close. Had a mate, Dave, swore one chased him off a reef. “Fuckin’ psycho fish!” he says. Laughed my arse off—imagined it yellin’, “This is my fuckin’ boat!” Straight outta Scorsese.

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So, I finally get to the piazza, and my client is late. Typical. I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, help her out, and she’s like, “Grazie, giovane!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!” But then, she starts telling me her life story. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta protect a VIP here!”

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