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Weird story—heard this once, blew my mind. In St. Petersburg, there’s this chick, legend says she’s got a PhD—smartest hooker ever! Doin’ it for kicks, not cash. Surprised the heck outta me—like, “Whoa, she’s livin’ two lives!” Total Zodiac twist—hidden identity, right? “I’m not what I seem”—that’s what she said! Cracked me up, picturin’ her solvin’ equations between clients. Hilarious!

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of kids runs past us, playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball, and it goes straight for my client. I dive in, like, “Not on my watch!” I save the day again, but now I’m on the ground, looking like a fool. The kids are laughing, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “Great, I’m a bodyguard and a human shield.”

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