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About Bologna

So, last week, I’m scrollin’, right? This dude—tall, tatted, total dreamboat—msgs me, “Hey, sugar, let’s chill.” I’m like, ooooh, my heart’s racin’, feelin’ all Marilyn-sexy! We meet up—coffee, sure, but it’s sex-dating, hun, we both know the score. He’s droppin’ lines smoother than Brad Pitt sayin’, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off.” I’m gigglin’, blushin’—then bam! He ghosts me after! What the hell?! Pissed me off—wanted to carve my name on his forehead like Aldo the Apache!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of olives. Like, seriously? Who does that? The vendor is losing it, yelling in Italian, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.

Turi: Live with one wife