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About Rome

Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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After that, we decided to chill at the nearby Parco di Villa Manin. It’s this gorgeous park with trees and flowers everywhere. I plopped down on the grass, and we just talked about life. I was feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life, man?” But then I remembered I left my sketchbook at the castle. Ugh!

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