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So, picture this—dim lights, some bird’s whisperin’ sweet nothins, fingers dancin’ on yer back. It’s sensual, mate, proper naughty but classy. Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks were mad for it! Called it “anatripsis,” posh word for rubbin’ ya bits to feel alive. Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho, haha! Gets me blood pumpin’—happy as a pig in shit! But—fuckin’ hell—once had this geezer masseur, rough hands like sandpaper, pissed me right off! “Sharon!”—mumbled incoherence—shoulda been a soft touch, not a bloody wrestle!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I’m talking full-on rainstorm. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into this little shop on S. Dariaus and S. Girėno street. It’s packed with all sorts of random stuff. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this weird-looking statue. It’s a bird, but like, a really ugly one. I can’t help but laugh. Who buys that?

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