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Srsly tho, it’s all about power, control, lettin’ go. Like Kiarostami’s film—“Art reflects truth, not reality.” Sexual-massage reflects *you*, mate. Freaky, huh? I’d prolly cackle through it, scarin’ the masseuse. “Why so serious?” I’d yell, mid-giggle. Bet they’d charge extra for that! What’s yer take, pal? Ever had one? Spill it—I’m dyin’ to know! Hehehe!

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Later, I’m back on the streets, and I decide to grab some gelato. You can’t go wrong with gelato in Tortona, right? I hit up this little shop on Via San Martino. The owner’s this old dude who’s been making gelato since forever. I order pistachio, and he gives me a wink. “Best in town,” he says. I take a bite, and man, he’s not lying. It’s like heaven in a cone.

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