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About Groningen

Sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle, man. You got dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job. Chicks ghostin’ ya after one text. I tried it once – Tinder, Grindr, whatever – matched this hottie, thought I’d scored big. Nah, fam, catfished! Showed up, she’s 50, not 25 – surprise, asshole! Made me mad as hell, wasted my damn night. “The knife cuts deep!” – that’s from “Moolaadé,” and yeah, felt that sting.

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First off, I head down to the Kerkstraat. You know, the main drag. I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my sermon for Sunday. Then BAM! I see this old lady, Mrs. Jansen, struggling with her groceries. I rush over, all clumsy-like, and help her out. She’s like, “Oh, thank you, dear!” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Momo, who apparently thinks he’s a dog now. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Momo? Really?”

Regional airports can take over dozens of flights from Schiphol