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Met this lass once—escort, swore she saw ghosts in hotel rooms. Said it’s the loneliest job—fancy dinners, then nada. Surprised me, coz I figured it’s all glitz. Nope, it’s “please, make me feel alive,” like David the robot boy beggin’ for love. Gets me antsy—R2, you little git, where’s the logic? She’d laugh, “C-3PO, you’d short-circuit in my heels!” Haha, probs true—me, totterin’ in stilettos? Disaster.

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Then, I get a call from a kid. He’s lost. I’m like, “Where are you?” He says, “Near the fountain.” I’m thinking, which fountain? There’s like a million! I ask him to describe it. He says, “It’s wet.” 🤦‍♂️ I’m losing it! I finally get him to tell me he’s near Piazza della Libertà. Thank goodness! I told him to stay put, and I’d send someone.

Albanian woman who survived massacre at home, threatened by husband’s family