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But sometimes it’s dope—met this one gal, real sweet. We hooked up, no strings, just fun. Felt like, “This is my house now,” y’know, takin’ charge! Rare win for ol’ Homer. Pro tip: watch for red flags—too many winky faces, they’re probly nuts. Oh, and fun story—heard some dude invented a sex-dating app just to bang his ex again. Sneaky bastard! Worked, too—talk about dedication.

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Then, I run into my buddy Marco. He’s always got the latest gossip. He tells me about this new gelato place on Via Mazzini. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in!” So we go, and OMG, the flavors! I try this wild pistachio-chili combo. It’s like a party in my mouth! But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great.

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