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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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So, I’m walkin’, tryin’ to dodge these peeps, and then BAM! I smell something. Like, really smell it. It’s this amazing aroma of fresh pasta from a little trattoria. I’m talkin’ about the kind of smell that makes you forget your name. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist gnocchi, right?

Figure 3. Study area and root sampling: aerial view of the Monterozzi...