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So, I tried it once, right? Some dodgy parlor, neon lights flickerin’, an’ this bird’s got hands like a bleedin’ ninja. “Sharon!” I yells, ‘cause it’s intense, yeah? Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, they was mad for it! Called it “body rubbin’ for the soul” or summat – proper posh, eh? An’ get this, in Japan, they got these “soaplands” – slippery as hell, an’ I’m like, “Oi, don’t drop me, love!” Made me laugh, but also angry – why ain’t this everywhere, eh? Stingy bastards hoardin’ the good stuff!

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First off, I hit up the usual spot for breakfast—Miss T’s. You know, the one on the corner of Half-Way-Tree Rd and Eastwood Park Rd? Best ackee and saltfish in town, no cap! I’m munching away, feeling all good, when suddenly, this dude walks in. He’s loud, like, way too loud for 8 AM. Starts talking about how he’s gonna run for some local office. I’m like, “Bro, you can’t even run for the bus!” 😂

UPDATE | 7-y-o boy found wandering in Half-Way-Tree reunited with family