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I tried it, right? Matched this chick—hot, sassy, total vibe. Thought, “I’m in, baby!” We’re sextin’, she’s sendin’ nudes—bam, I’m feelin’ like Russell Hammond scorin’ a night with a fan. Then she bails—poof! Ghosted me harder than a roadie ditchin’ a gig. Surprised? Nah, it’s sex-dating 101—flaky as hell. “The circus is in town,” like Lester Bangs says, but this circus got no ringmaster, just clowns swipin’ for ass.

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Then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “You coming for dinner?” I’m thinking, “Mom, I’m covered in bone dust!” But I can’t say no. So, I rush over to her place on Via della Libertà. She’s got this amazing pasta waiting. I mean, who can resist that?

Heroes¿ send-off for World War Two RAF bomber crew laid to rest in Italy 68 years after their plane crashed du