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But—oh man—sometimes it’s a mess. Had this one gig, escort guy was late, truck stuck, traffic pilin’ up—pissed me off bad. Yellin’ in my head, “Where’s this joker at?!” Felt like that scene, “I am a golden god!”—except I’m just a sweaty manager losin’ it. Little known fact, tho—escorts ain’t just randoms. Some states, they gotta be certified, trained, like freakin’ cargo ninjas. Blew my mind when I heard that.

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So, I hit up the local café on Piazza San Giovanni. You know, the one with the best cornetti? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—cappuccino and a pastry. But guess what? They were out of cornetti! Like, seriously? How do you run out of cornetti in the morning? I was fuming. I mean, come on! It’s like a pizza place running outta dough. So, I settled for a brioche. Not the same, but whatever.

NYS Catholic girls’ golf championships: 3 Staten Islanders qualify for state Federation tournament