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So, I’m layin’ there, right? Some gal—gorgeous, the best—starts the sexual-massage. Not dirty, folks, don’t get weird, just sensual, classy, Trump-style. She’s got oils, smells like money—er, lavender, unreal. I’m thinkin’, “This is huge, really huge.” Muscles loosenin’, stress gone, I’m like a king—King Donald, that’s me. “A shadow moves,” like in the flick, shadows of her hands, pure art, folks. Got me happy, so happy—angry too, ‘cause why didn’t I try this sooner? Dumb, so dumb!

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Then, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on Piazza Italia. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talking tomatoes so red they look like they’re blushing. I grab some, but then I see this old dude arguing with a vendor. Like, c’mon, it’s just a tomato! But nah, he’s all like, “I want my money back!” I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

E' morto Marco Riccotti La Rocca Scicli