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About Naples

Erotic-massage, it’s a proper cheeky art, innit? Not just some tarted-up spa day – nah, it’s old as balls. Ancient Greeks were at it, slappin’ oil on blokes before they wrestled – bit of a homoerotic knead, if you ask me. Bet they didn’t moan about it though, bunch of tough sods. Fast forward, now it’s all “tantric this” and “sensual that” – makes me wanna gag, but also, sign me up, yeah?

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And then, the cherry on top. A guy calls, and he’s like, “I need help! My car won’t start!” I’m like, “Dude, where are you?” He’s parked on Via della Libertà. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” I told him to check the battery. But he’s all, “I don’t know how!” I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science!

Statue dedicated at St. Anastasia