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Me favorite part? When they tease, oh yesss, precious tension! Not just rub-a-dub, it’s art, mate! Them masseuses, trained sneaky-like, know every knot, every shiver. Once heard—get this—some king paid gold for it, kept it hush-hush, ha! Makes me giggle, picturin’ him all oiled up, crown crooked. *“You don’t get it, do you?”*—like them soldiers in the movie, clueless ‘til it hits ya!

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Then, I hit up Piazza San Marcellino. It’s beautiful, right? But today, it’s like a circus. Kids are running around, and I almost trip over a skateboard. Seriously, who lets their kids skate in a piazza? I’m dodging them like I’m in a video game. “Level up, Maiko dodging skills!”

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