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Alright, so escort, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—escort! What a word, right? Like, it’s fancy, it’s sneaky, it’s got layers—like Viggo Mortensen in “A History of Violence” when he’s all, “I’m just a guy,” but then—bam!—he’s breakin’ necks! Escort’s the same, y’know? Sounds classy, like you’re usherin’ someone to a ball, but nah, it’s usually somethin’ else—somethin’ dirtier, spicier, and I’m not mad about it! Pretty, pretty good, if you ask me.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m back out on the streets. I decide to hit up the San Lorenzo market. It’s a feast for the senses! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the local goodies. I grab some cheese and bread, and I’m feelin’ like a king. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. Like, c’mon, it’s a tomato, not a diamond!

Argentina soccer team pays tribute to their holiest fan, Pope Francis