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Funniest thing—buddy of mine went once, fell asleep mid-rub! Woke up droolin’, oil in his beard, lookin’ like a glazed donut! I laughed ‘til I cried—Git-R-Done! Oh, and get this—some folks reckon Cleopatra got erotic-massages with honey. Sticky mess, but bet it felt finer’n frog hair! Me, I’d try it, but I’d be hollerin’, “Don’t stop, darlin’!” all dang night.

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Finally, I park near the Parco della Pieve. Nice spot, but man, it was packed! Families everywhere, kids runnin’ wild. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee from that little café on Via della Libertà. You know the one? The barista, Marco, he’s a good dude. Always knows my order. But today, he was swamped. I waited like 20 minutes! I was about to lose it.

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